


Blame

by Celinarose



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 08:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12428574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celinarose/pseuds/Celinarose
Summary: "She loved you. She would never want you to do this to yourself. This will not make her happy. That is what you want, isn't it? For her to be happy?" Bill/Tonks. Warning for suicidal themes.





	Blame

_**Warnings: Suicidal themes** _

* * *

The funeral is a small affair, but the few people in attendance clearly show how well loved Nymphadora Tonks was.

Andromeda and Ted put up a brave face, in spite of they pain they are feeling, but some of the Weasleys have tears running down their cheeks. Harry and Hermione stand off to the side quietly, looking somewhat uncomfortable at the gathering. Draco Malfoy makes an appearance as well, much to everyone's surprise, to pay his last respects to his cousin.

One figure stands some distance away, leaning against on the trees. He looks calm and composed, but a careful observer would have noticed the storm in his heart that his blue eyes betray to the world. But no one looks in his direction, and he remains as motionless as a statue.

He waits until everyone else has mourned and left, then walks over slowly to the newly filled grave and kneels before it.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, placing the flowers on the soil. Quiet sobs wrack his body as he takes out his wand.

He stands up, wiping his face with his sleeve, and points the wand resolutely at himself.

 _It will soon be over,_ he tells himself. He has made the decision after careful deliberation, and he will stand by it.

"Avada Ked-" he begins, but is cut off.

"Expelliarmus!"

Bill falls back at the force of the sudden, unexpected spell that hits his arm, knocking the wand onto the grass. He opens his eyes to find Harry standing there, in front of him, looking at him questioningly.

"I couldn't have let that happen," the younger man says, picking up Bill's wand.

Bill shakes his head, stubbornly, tears blurring his vision again.

"You shouldn't have stopped me," he says softly.

"Bill, you were going to..." Harry does not complete the sentence, and it remains hanging uncomfortably in the air between them.

"I know," comes the reply.

Harry sits down on the ground beside him.

"I probably don't want to ask, but I'm going to anyway."

"She didn't deserve to die," Bill says.

Harry looks at Bill. "Neither do you,"

"You don't understand, Harry. This is my fault. I should have stopped it."

"Tell me, then. Tell me why you must blame yourself for Voldemort's actions."

Bill is silent. Harry does not push it, but quietly waits instead.

"I loved her," Bill says after a long pause.

"And she loved you. She would never want you to do this to yourself. This will not make her happy. That is what you want, isn't it? For her to be happy?"

"Yes."

Harry lays a comforting arm on Bill's shoulder.

* * *

When he is all alone again, Bill stares blankly at his wand. He can still use it if he wishes, he ponders. He even considers it, for a few moments, until Harry's voice comes ringing back into his ears.

_This will not make her happy._

_**She deserves her happiness.** _

He tightens his grip on the twisted piece of wood.

_I love you._

The wand snaps in two, but he pays it no attention. The familiar face appears in front of his eyes. He repeats the three words again, and again, and again.

_I love you too._

And finally, he believes it.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Written for
> 
> 500 Different Pairings Challenge: Bill Weasley/Nymphadora Tonks
> 
> One Character, One Prompt Challenge: Bill Weasley, Blame
> 
> Halloween Character Challenge: Death - write about someone who died in the books
> 
> The Great School Bake-Off: Pear and Goat Cheese Cupcake: 1. Vanilla cake (Character: Bill Weasley) 2. Pear compote filling (Spell: Expelliarmus) 3. Goat cheese buttercream (Event: funeral) 4. Roasted pear topping (Dialogue: "I probably don't want to ask, but I'm going to anyway.")
> 
> That was much darker than I intended. Hopefully everyone was still in character.


End file.
